As I was preparing to help my daughter wrap her Christmas presents this morning for her brother and daddy, I came across a couple of tiny little books that I had bought for my parents years ago. They were buried in the bottom of our bag of Christmas wrapping paper that never empties. The bag is one of those large Santa style cloth gift bags that is just the right size for storing rolls of wrapping paper. Each year at Christmas time I buy more, and the rolls of paper just keep cycling through. I had planned to add the books to the top of my parents’ gifts the year that I bought them. But somewhere along the way those little books made their way to the bottom of the giant bag of gift wrap, and were long forgotten.

Time went on.

I bought those books over 15 years ago, before I even moved out of the house I had grown up in. I can remember sitting with those books in my old bedroom, trying to figure out what to write in the couple of pages that have spaces for personalizing. Only I didn’t finish them before Christmas that year, so I decided to save them for the next. But as the old saying goes, “Procrastination is the thief of time.”

My dad’s time in this life came to an abrupt end this year.

He left this life at 66 years young, just a month before his retirement. And when I came across those little books, it was a harsh reminder that I will never be able to give him anything, tell him anything, ever again in this life. I will never have any more moments with my dad here. There will be no more Christmas celebrations or opportunities to give him that long forgotten little gift. My own procrastination has robbed me of that chance.

I stepped out of my daughter’s room to put those little books in my closet, and I crumbled in tears. I thought about the missed moments, and all the moments that will never happen in the future. And that’s when I realized…

If I don’t pick myself up off of this floor and stop dwelling on the moments that might have been, I’m going to miss the ones happening right here, right now.

The memories of wrapping gifts with my daughter… of being present with her as she experiences the joy of preparing gifts for the people she loves… of embracing the moment with her, rather than letting it slip by…

I don’t want to miss the moments ahead of me, because I’m too busy looking behind me.

I don’t want to rob my children of the moments they are wanting to create with me. To be stuck in a place of longing for moments that never were or never will be. I don’t want to miss the here and now because I’m stuck in the never was or never will be.

As painful as it was, I am thankful for the reminder those little books gave me. The reminder to be thankful for the moments that were, while embracing the moments that are happening here and now. Tomorrow is never promised. So I will try my best to always remember to be thankful for today.

XOXO~
Kristin

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4: 6-7